November 20, 2008

I am impervious

Oh, crap. I'm that guy. You know the one. The cranky guy who teaches cashiers how to count out change even if the register's broken. When did this happen? I know, I know ... I've been this way my whole life.

In response to my email reporting a missing issue of a magazine I subscribe to, I received the following email:

Dear [My Name],

We have in all total 68 Issues in a year. November/December 2008 is a combined issue. Your have enquired only about December 2008 issue.

Please check and confirm back which issue you have missed.

Thank you for subscribing to [Magazine Name].


[Her Name]
Email Customer Service.

* When contacting us please include all the pervious emails*

To which I replied (copying the editor of the magazine, who enjoys bantering about typos in his periodic email newsletter to subscribers):

Dear Her Name,

You have "in all total 68 issues a year"? What does that mean? I don't understand what you're saying. In answer to what I think your question is, I'm referring to the issue that's listed as the current issue on your website and is currently in newsstands. I didn't receive it. It is identified on your website [hyperlink removed] as December 2008, so I don't see why you don't understand what I'm asking for.

By your count, you apparently owe me something like 60 issues, "in all total." I don't know that I'll have time to read them, but I'll do my best.

Finally, what are "pervious" emails? I assure you I've never written an email that could be called "pervious" and I don't appreciate the suggestion.

Seriously, though: the unprofessional nature of this communication does not reflect well on your organization's commitment to customer service.


[My Name]

And that was after only four cups of coffee!


Rosemary said...

Oh,'s been a long time since you've read student papers, hasn't it? I've got a bunch I'd be happy to send you if you have some more snarkiness you'd like to unleash on grammatically incomprehensible writing.

("Pervious"! I'm still snickering...)

Michael said...

I think you should demand your money back for the 60 issues you never got. And I'm in total sympathy with your anger. These days, it seems like every professionally published book I read has stupid typos throughout. Even the New York Times Book Review has been mentioning this in their reviews. Dam it, Jum, their trying to kill us by givving us high blodd presure!!!!!!