February 23, 2009

I don't stay up late

Stupid people doing stupid things = not funny.

Smart people doing stupid things = funny.

February 22, 2009

Whiskey Fire

I wrote this yesterday:

Gerry may be the first film I've seen in which all of the named characters are named Gerry. It's a good film, but it's not for everybody … including, perhaps, me. The premise is pretty simple: two guys go for a hike in the desert without food or water and get lost. Reminds me of a student summary of Hemingway's masterpiece “Big Two-Hearted River”: “Nick goes fishing.”Whiskey Fire, Feb 2009

You should read the whole article ... if you want to.

This automated reblogging function is courtesy of Zemanta, which is pretty cool, but not as cool as I want to to be ...

February 21, 2009

Beloved be the one who sits down

Okay, so I'm watching Songs from the Second Floor even as I type. I don't recall what motivated me to put it in my Netflix queueueue in the first place, but years later, it's here. So I'm watching it. It's surreal. Not Andalusian Dog while my Spanish professor plies me with wine and offers to read my palm surreal, but surreal enough nonetheless.

Since I'm pretty much resolved not to rant about work in this venue, I don't really have a lot to say ... I've had my nose to the grindstone, my ear to the ground, my balls to the wall, pedal to the metal ... It's like a game of Twister I tell ya.

And of course a week from now I'll be literally halfway around the world. It's been fun mentioning this trip to people. If I say the name of the country I'll be visiting, people say, "Oh wow, that's great." If I say I'm going to "The Middle East," then it's a whole different thing. Interesting.

Since I'm not a habitual traveler, I can't say that my destination is the kind of place I'd have picked to visit on my own, but after sitting through much of Songs from the Second Floor, I believe that I prefer it to Sweden.

February 16, 2009

I am in awe

This is the greatest:

As seen on failblog.org.

The only thing that would be better is if there really were zombies. Not lizard people zombies, though. That would be too much!

February 13, 2009

Happy Birthday, Chuck D.

Yesterday was Charles Darwin's birthday, and I forgot to get him anything. If you see him, fling some poo!

This is a fun link for Devo fans:

Devolve me!

Are we not men?

February 12, 2009

Hit me, baby, one more time

In the last week or so, several people have found happiness (i.e. this blog) by searching for "inappropriate self disclosure." Could it be that the ol' Wordshed (i.e. this blog) is becoming a mecca for those interested in inappropriate self-disclosure? Would that be a good thing? And what, exactly, are they looking for? It's like a porn search for the INTJ crowd, right?

Do they expect me to reveal something inappropriate about myself? That, for instance, mime was the only form of communication permitted at the dinner table when I was growing up? Or that I once promoted full-duplex toilet paper as a conservation/cost-cutting measure? That as a child I dreamt of writing the autobiography of Jorge Luis Borges? That I once unknowingly flirted with a little person in a bar ? That I've had the song "On the Atchison, Topeka, and the Santa Fe" running through my head for the last ten years?

What do these people want from me?

Oh, another popular search phrase is, I'm sorry to report, "superior drinkability." Sheesh. I'm ahead of Bud in the Google search, incidentally.

February 11, 2009

Corporate Recognition at Last!

I had a hit from General Mills today, searching on the terms "shut up steve." While I would like to consider myself an impartial critic of media and culture, the message I really want to get out to people is this: I CAN BE BOUGHT. Call me.

Seriously. Do you want "The box says 'shut up Steve'" to be the next "Where's the beef"? I'm your man! (Incidentally, I spent a long time trying to decide where to put that question mark relative to the quotation mark, and I'm not entirely happy with the result.) Let's make this happen!

Seriously people. From "magically delicious" (don't get me started) to "better eatcher Wheaties" (better) to "Shut Up Steve"?

Uh, let me guess: The box says, "STFU Jim." Am I close?

February 10, 2009

I Got to Ramble

The trip to Chicago was a short, happy little jaunt. The conference was reasonably valuable and only slightly tedious, and Chicago is a pretty cool destination. It would have been cool to have more time to look around.

Of course the high point was getting together with Bill, whom I hadn't seen since 1987 or so, and meeting his wife. This has been quite a year for getting together with people I've known for a very long time, including the Columbus contingent in November and cousin Tom (whom I've known since I guess 1965) last week. It's great knowing that one still has stuff in common with folks after all these years.

And now there's more travel in my future, since I'm traveling on behalf of my employer to Jordan at the end of this month. Very exciting! This is only my second trip abroad, the first being the trip to the Principality of Monaco, where my first wife was brutally attacked by a hair-eating monkey.

My understanding is that Jordan is relatively devoid of monkeys. But I would have thought the same of Monaco.

February 04, 2009

Upon Further Review

I've recovered sufficiently from the Super Bowl to offer a few observations. Please indulge me, or not, as you please.

1. Anhedonia. I'm not that kind of doctor, but it seems to me that if you run an interception back one hundred yards for a touchdown--essentially a fourteen-point play--you might be expected to be smiling once you've recovered your breath. Not James Harrison. Nor did he smile while being interviewed after the game. He is an emotionless force of nature. Unless you count rage as an emotion, which I guess it is.

2. One-Yard Personal Foul. If you're going to beat somebody--literally beat him--on the football field, a good time to do it is when you're buried deep, when "half the distance" is measurable in feet, not yards. I'm a charitable soul and am willing to assume that that guy had it coming.

3. The "O Line." Nice of Ben to give a shout out in his post game comments, but I still don't see how "porous" is an effective strategy. They didn't protect you that well, Ben, but yeah, stay on their good side, if they have one. Hint: it's not behind them.

I wonder if they watched the way the defense blocked for Harrison on his 100-yard journey?

4. Fast Willie Parker. Trade bait. Somewhere out there a team can use his considerable talent, but it's not a good match for the Steelers.

5. Bruce Arians. Finally we see some imagination in the offense, aside from the third-and-long strategy that dragged them through the regular season. Apparently the ban on passing the ball prior to third down has been lifted! Let us rejoice. I think the Steelers could do better, though, as do others, apparently. That guy the Steelers used to have was pretty good. Ken something? Does the Rooney Rule allow for the hiring of "arians"?

6. Bruce Springsteen. Pretty good, but anything beats the atonal cryptkeeper debacle of Super Bowl Forty.

7. Santonio Holmes. His post-game interview was a little self-centered and arrogant, but he is a wide receiver, after all, and a little later he spoke at some length about Hines Ward's mentoring. He had a great game and managed to avoid shooting himself in the leg.