If at all possible, use the word "festoon" in conversation today. I invite you to document your use of the word in the comment section.
That is all.
June 14, 2008
June 13, 2008
Changing Channels
Bouncing around basic cable tonight, I thought about dropping in a video of Springsteen's "57 Channels (And Nothin' On)" or even Dylan's "TV Talkin' Song" ... but I'm not that motivated by the former and really not willing to promote anything from Under the Red Sky ... which in my opinion is not even as good as Down in the Groove, which at least has "Silvio" on it. Still, these lines from "TV Talkin' Song" are relevant.
I think he was actually talking about the internet without knowing it. But the original context also works; if the best thing on TV is an infomercial for Girls Gone Wild videos or some kind of colon cleansing scheme, where are we exactly? Post-rapture maybe? Bah.
(What follows, just to cheer me up, is a non sequitur: Dylan doing "Silvio" at the Prince's Trust concert in '96. If you look close, you'll see that he's got "Wood.")
'What follows is a non sequitur.' That might be the funniest thing I've ever said.
But back to TV: I liked it better back in the late 80s and early 90s when ESPN was all Australian rules football. At least it was a sport. I couldn't figure it out, but it was a sport. Folks, poker is not a SPORT. It's a game. I don't like splitting hairs of classification, so I'm not going to argue about bowling or Nascar or horse racing/abuse, but I know for sure that poker ain't a sport. What's next? Uno? Yahtzee? Smoking?
And MTV of course had videos. It's '91, son.
Comedy Central, instead of steering the course of American government, was mostly standup clips from the like of Emo Phillips.
More channels, more noise ... I guess that's about right.
"It will led you into some strange pursuits,
Lead you to the land of forbidden fruits.
It will scramble up your head and drag your brain about,
Sometimes you gotta do like Elvis did and shoot the damn thing out."
I think he was actually talking about the internet without knowing it. But the original context also works; if the best thing on TV is an infomercial for Girls Gone Wild videos or some kind of colon cleansing scheme, where are we exactly? Post-rapture maybe? Bah.
(What follows, just to cheer me up, is a non sequitur: Dylan doing "Silvio" at the Prince's Trust concert in '96. If you look close, you'll see that he's got "Wood.")
'What follows is a non sequitur.' That might be the funniest thing I've ever said.
But back to TV: I liked it better back in the late 80s and early 90s when ESPN was all Australian rules football. At least it was a sport. I couldn't figure it out, but it was a sport. Folks, poker is not a SPORT. It's a game. I don't like splitting hairs of classification, so I'm not going to argue about bowling or Nascar or horse racing/abuse, but I know for sure that poker ain't a sport. What's next? Uno? Yahtzee? Smoking?
And MTV of course had videos. It's '91, son.
Comedy Central, instead of steering the course of American government, was mostly standup clips from the like of Emo Phillips.
More channels, more noise ... I guess that's about right.
June 10, 2008
A quiet week
Truly it has been a quiet week, and if you keep coming back here hoping that something magically appears, I appreciate it and am sorry there's not more to read.
As I hinted, I'm in Louisville, KY for the week, scoring AP essays and hanging out with a hell of a number of English teachers and professors from all over the country.
You know how certain nouns have certain appropriate words that go with them to indicate a quantity of them? Like a flock of seagulls (brought to mind because somebody was making fun of my 80s-ish glasses earlier in the week), a murder of crows, etc.?
I have often thought that a gathered quantity of English professors should be called "a pretension of English professors."
Friend and colleague Andrew H. proposes "a wank of English professors."
Each has its merits, it seems to me. Mine, with its Latinate feels, strikes me as more pretentious and therefore more appropriate. His, on the other hand, has a kind of Anglo-Saxon directness that I approve of. And no, I do not know the etymology of "wank." Although discussing the etymology of the word "wank" is, in fact, wankery and underscores the aptness of the term.
As I hinted, I'm in Louisville, KY for the week, scoring AP essays and hanging out with a hell of a number of English teachers and professors from all over the country.
You know how certain nouns have certain appropriate words that go with them to indicate a quantity of them? Like a flock of seagulls (brought to mind because somebody was making fun of my 80s-ish glasses earlier in the week), a murder of crows, etc.?
I have often thought that a gathered quantity of English professors should be called "a pretension of English professors."
Friend and colleague Andrew H. proposes "a wank of English professors."
Each has its merits, it seems to me. Mine, with its Latinate feels, strikes me as more pretentious and therefore more appropriate. His, on the other hand, has a kind of Anglo-Saxon directness that I approve of. And no, I do not know the etymology of "wank." Although discussing the etymology of the word "wank" is, in fact, wankery and underscores the aptness of the term.
June 07, 2008
Somebody say keep on rockin'?
No, this post is not going to be a defense of the genius of Rick Derringer, though that is an argument I've advanced whenever I've been given the opportunity. In fact I would submit that he requires no defense (Exploring hands encounter no defence; / His vanity requires no response / And makes a welcome of indifference):
You can be the judge.
But no, I didn't come to talk about Rick Derringer. I'm writing from Louisville, a town about which I can't think of anything else to say without being a little nasty, just to tell you that should you be interested, there's a song called "Labor Day" available for listening and download at our isound.com site, which as I write this refuses to load.
Could we have killed this site the way we killed mp3.com?
You can be the judge.
But no, I didn't come to talk about Rick Derringer. I'm writing from Louisville, a town about which I can't think of anything else to say without being a little nasty, just to tell you that should you be interested, there's a song called "Labor Day" available for listening and download at our isound.com site, which as I write this refuses to load.
Could we have killed this site the way we killed mp3.com?
June 02, 2008
"Superior Drinkability"
I'm tired of hearing about the advertised "superior drinkability" of certain beers. What does that mean? That the advertised beer makes little or no impression on the drinker? That's a good thing?
And what does it say about me that I've found few beers difficult to drink? Aside from, ironically, the "lite" beers that so shrilly insist on their drinkability ...
And what does it say about me that I've found few beers difficult to drink? Aside from, ironically, the "lite" beers that so shrilly insist on their drinkability ...
And another thing ...
I'm sorry, but I'm not quite done hating the new Indiana Jones movie. I just wanted to observe a couple of things. Mild spoilers may follow, but baby, it done been spoiled already.
1. Nowhere in the first three movies do we see Jones leaning toward becoming a Cold War spy ... he seems to have a healthy disdain for ideologies. Sure, he hates Nazis, but does that mean we need the clumsy backstory that Janitor from Scrubs is planted in there to elucidate?
2. I'm glad the dean gets his job back, but is Jones's "promotion" to Associate Dean at the end of the film supposed to be seen as some kind of victory?
At least I can say this, quoting Wu Han, Indy's unfortunate sidekick from Temple of Doom:
Don't be sad, Dr. Jones--you will soon join me. Ha. Ah ha ha. Ah HA HA HA!
1. Nowhere in the first three movies do we see Jones leaning toward becoming a Cold War spy ... he seems to have a healthy disdain for ideologies. Sure, he hates Nazis, but does that mean we need the clumsy backstory that Janitor from Scrubs is planted in there to elucidate?
2. I'm glad the dean gets his job back, but is Jones's "promotion" to Associate Dean at the end of the film supposed to be seen as some kind of victory?
At least I can say this, quoting Wu Han, Indy's unfortunate sidekick from Temple of Doom:
"I followed you on many adventures--but into the great Unknown Mystery, I go first, Indy..."
Don't be sad, Dr. Jones--you will soon join me. Ha. Ah ha ha. Ah HA HA HA!
June 01, 2008
Where do I start?
There was a time when I essentially had Raiders of the Lost Ark memorized. Of course, novelty carried that film a long way, which is why neither of the next two came close to the first one.
But none of the first three Indiana Jones films was stupid. Crystal Skulls was stupid.
Look, I'd have to see it again to keep track of everything I didn't like about the film, and that's just not going to happen any time soon. I'd rather go see the Sex and the City film daily for the next three weeks than sit through the Indiana Jones film again. The story wasn't compelling, the characters were singularly uncharacterized, the editing was abysmal (several apparent incongruities and continuity problems), the action was implausible even by Indiana Jones standards. Implausible without being interesting or impressive. Honestly, this film would have been disappointing as a Goonies sequel.
But none of the first three Indiana Jones films was stupid. Crystal Skulls was stupid.
Look, I'd have to see it again to keep track of everything I didn't like about the film, and that's just not going to happen any time soon. I'd rather go see the Sex and the City film daily for the next three weeks than sit through the Indiana Jones film again. The story wasn't compelling, the characters were singularly uncharacterized, the editing was abysmal (several apparent incongruities and continuity problems), the action was implausible even by Indiana Jones standards. Implausible without being interesting or impressive. Honestly, this film would have been disappointing as a Goonies sequel.
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