September 16, 2008

Public Radio is Dandy

Why, oh why do the "on-air personalities" on local public radio have to be so ... so ... so like they are? (As a side note, is being a person better or worse than being a personality?)

Next time I phone in my pledge, I'm going to take my issues up with them. The morning disc-spinner also does the news, and I swear she can't get through a sentence without messing something up. It's like she's working from somebody else's scribbled notes, which might be true. Or maybe she's reading off the internet? Maybe she's reading this right now!

I know some people have trouble reading aloud, but I think if it's your job to read aloud in public, you need to identify the strategies that will increase your chance of doing it successfully. Type the stuff out verbatim. Boldface the words, or even the syllables, that need to be emphasized.

Look, we're in a small market, and I'm sure these people aren't making a fortune ... so please notice that I'm not mentioning names or even naming the market. I'm just venting.

Imagine a world where somebody has nothing more important to complain about!

And there's this other guy. He's got one of these pretentious, classical music type voices, but I can live with that. I'm pretty damned pretentious myself. But just once I'd like to hear somebody spinning the classical wax with a drawl. This guy can make me pound my head on the dashboard with a single word.

The word is sonata.

Look, I don't want him to say "snotta" or anything. That would be vulgar. But this guy, this dandy, swallows the "t" so sanottily that it comes out "sonaha." I drive around praying, literally praying, that he won't play a sonaha. Play a fuguing fugue. Play a sweet suite. But please don't play a muhhafuhhing sonaha!

Come on, man ... Did they send you to some special school to teach you to sound like you're better than everybody else?

Hmm, well, yeah, I guess they probably did. Okay, never mind.


Michael said...

I feel your pain. I think my partner thinks it's petty of me to yell at the TV when the local news folks mess up. We have a weatherman who has been on TV for as long as I've been an adult, but he's getting worse and worse with his missed enunciation and word stumbling. It may well be a medical condition, but damn it, when his job is talking to us and he can't talk clearly anymore, than give him another job already!

My beef with public radio announcers is that I wish they would speak up a bit, though since our local Public Radio station has cut back on classical music and added more news and commentary, I'm not listening so much.

Unknown said...

I for one have no problem with either pretentious voices, self-important affectation, or, for that matter, THE Batman.

JB said...

I did notice that in the latest film, the The is in full Gablean effect.